Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler
Mistakes Made
by Adolf Hitler
<p style="text-indent: 33">1. Land War in Asia</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">2. Keeping his little moustache, not growing a friendly Abe Lincoln beard to instill trust among subjects</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">3. Not buying lifts for his shoes</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">4. Failure to exploit Me 262 Messerschmidt</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">5. Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the daisy</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">6. Lost the Ark to Indiana Jones</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">7. Chose unfashionable blacks and browns rather than trendy plaids and stripes as uniform colors for SS & SA</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">8. Referring to Stalin as "that old Georgian fat back"</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">9. Indiscriminate use of V-2 rockets for public fireworks displays</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">10. Free beer in munitions plants</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">11. Lisp never corrected</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">12. Failed to conquer strategically important Comoros Islands</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">13. Fell asleep in staff meetings</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">14. Chose Italy as ally</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">15. Got involved with a Sicilian when death was on the line</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">16. Made pass at Eleanor Roosevelt during 1936 Olympics</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">17. Built heliport on top of new Reichstag building which looked remarkably like a bullseye from the air</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">18. Always got Churchill out of bed for conference calls</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">19. Told Einstein he had a stupid name</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">20. Used SS instead of LAPD</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">21. Admired Napoleon's strategy</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">22. In last days, chose to hide in bunker rather than ask U.S. for a little country place in Hawaii</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">23. Nightmare involving Pillsbury Doughboy haunted him constantly with war advice</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">24. Passed up Finish "tanks for snowshoes" offer before invasion of USSR.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">25. Spent jail time planning how to conquer the world instead of his own escape.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">26. Forgot to write "Dear Joey" letter to Stalin before invasion of Poland</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">27. Blew nose on Operation Barbarossa maps, forcing extemporaneous invasion of Soviet Union.</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">28. Took no steps to keep Neville Chamberlain in power</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">29. Forgot correct interpretation of Nietzche; caused much embarrassment when he used to cite philosophical support for his concept of the
"Oberdude"</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">30. Listened to too much Wagner and not enough Peter, Paul and Mary</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">31. Failed to encourage tourism</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">32. Being born</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">33. Kept Colonel Klink in command</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">34. Churchill mistakenly thought "Deutschland Uber Alles" was a veiled threat</p>
<p style="text-indent: 33">35. Used same astrologer as the Reagans.</p>
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