BEWILDERED
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I was bewildered at the bitterness and anger, which spewed from humanity.<br>
I longed for acceptance, love and peace.<br><br>
I filled my world with books, journals, and teddy bears.<br>
I was unable to bear the pain, which rained upon me constantly.<br><br>
I longed to know the people who abandoned me long ago.<br>
I longed for a family who would reach out and hold me when I was in pain.<br><br>
People walked in and out of my life. They did not stop long enough to know me.<br>
This had been the pattern of my world for a long time.<br><br>
I thought the pain would end when he died, the man who was so bitter and hurt.<br>
He was a man who did not know how to express love, or ask for love.<br><br>
Years of fear, bitterness and anger filled my life, until I too, became angry.<br>
Angry enough to lash out and hurt the man I tried to love.<br><br>
He is gone now, dead for over one year, and my nightmares are gone.<br>
I've forgiven him, and myself.<br><br>
Yet the bitterness, callousness and anger in the world continue to carry on, <br>
And I am weary.<br>
I will curl up, once again with my grandmother's quilt, and hope to feel better when I wake.<br><br>
I too, could become a person who is distant, not sharing my feelings or needs.<br>
My Father knows my needs, and He will care for me, however; <br>
He wants me to care for others.<br><br>
He knows my heart, and He walks with me, holding my hand.<br>
He comforts me, as no human ever has; enabling me to comfort others.<br><br>
He is my world. He gives me joy and a sense of hope. He gently dries my tears.<br>
He is God Almighty, creator of me and the universe.<br><br>
He is my Father. He is my hope.
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