如何处理职场矛盾
Ever held a differing opinion from your boss? Boasted dissimilar ideas than your co-worker? Been knocked out by a colleague over a disagreement about a project? (OK, so the last one might be a stretch, but it's happened before...) 曾经观点和老板的不一致？曾经和同事想法不同？由于对一个项目看法不一而被一位同事打晕？（呃，也许最后一种有些夸张，不过这样的事情真的曾发生过……)Join the club 大家都是“同病相怜”
Human resource managers report spending 24 to 60 percent of their time dealing with employee disputes.
The number of violent incidents in the workplace has been increasing steadily, according to a study by the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM). Nearly 60 percent of respondents said violence had occurred in their organization during the past three years, and they identified "personality conflicts" as the leading cause.
Like birth, death, choice and change, conflict is a constant fact of life. It's also a fact of the workplace, especially when you deal or interact with people. While disagreements and differing opinions are normal, even healthy, in work relationships, conflict can cost your company productivity, money and employee satisfaction.
Fifty-three percent of workers said they lost time at work worrying about a past or future confrontation with a co-worker, according to a recent survey by researchers at the University of North Carolina.
Twenty-eight percent of those surveyed said they lost work time because they avoided the confrontational colleague, and 37 percent said a hostile altercation caused them to reduce their commitment to the organization. Twenty-two percent said they put less effort into their work because of bad blood at the office.
"Co-worker conflicts can be one of the most difficult forms of workplace stress," says Gus Stieber, national director of sales for Bensinger, DuPont & Associates, a professional services company. "Understanding the nature of conflict, examining myths, and learning simple conflict-resolution skills can reduce friction and their negative toll on job satisfaction and productivity."
Reasons for animosity at work run the gamut from weak communication to personality clashes to poor leadership. Whatever the reason, early intervention is the key to managing conflicts before they become crises, Stieber says. 导致职场矛盾的原因从沟通不通畅到性格上的冲突或领导力差都有。不论原因是什么，在矛盾升级至危机之前，早点介入是解决矛盾的关键。 Make use of the following tips to resolve conflict at work. 你可以试着利用下面的方法来解决职场矛盾。
(1) Choose your battles. 矛盾的性质严重吗
How important is the dispute really? Does it truly affect you, and is it a chronic problem? If it's a one-time incident or mild transgression, let it pass, says Steven Menack, a professional divorce and business mediator.
(2) Expect conflict. 认识到矛盾时时处处都会出现
Decide that friction will occasionally emerge in the course of human relationships, Stieber says. Don't fear it -- rather, learn to spot the symptoms early and see opportunity in the resolution.
(3) Use neutral language. 避免强烈的语气
Avoid judgmental remarks or sweeping generalizations, such as, "You always turn your reports in late." Use calm, neutral language to describe what is bothering you. For example: "I get very frustrated when I can't access your reports because it causes us to miss our deadlines." Be respectful and sincere, never sarcastic, Menack suggests.
(4) Practice preventive maintenance. 就事论事
Avoid retreating to the safety of withdrawal, avoidance or the simplistic view that your co-worker is a "bad person," Stieber says. These are defense mechanisms that prevent the resolution of conflict.
Menack suggests focusing on the problem, not the person. Never attack or put the other person on the defensive, he says. Focus on actions and consequences.
(5) Listen actively. 主动聆听
Never interrupt the other party, Menack urges. Really listen and try to understand what the other person is saying. Let him know you understand by restating or reframing his statement or position, so he knows you have indeed heard him.
(6) Get leverage on yourself. 发挥杠杆作用
When dissent between you and a co-worker appears without resolution, it is time to get leverage. Ask to be held accountable. This brings your performance evaluation into the equation but without taking away your responsibility for resolving the conflict. This is hard to do, but remarkable change can happen when you are held to task. The man do not know what will do when he meet the things !
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