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Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler

Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler

1. Land War in Asia

2. Keeping his little moustache, not growing a friendly Abe Lincoln beard to instill trust among subjects

3. Not buying lifts for his shoes

4. Failure to exploit Me 262 Messerschmidt

5. Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the daisy

6. Lost the Ark to Indiana Jones

7. Chose unfashionable blacks and browns rather than trendy plaids and stripes as uniform colors for SS & SA

8. Referring to Stalin as "that old Georgian fat back"

9. Indiscriminate use of V-2 rockets for public fireworks displays

10. Free beer in munitions plants

11. Lisp never corrected

12. Failed to conquer strategically important Comoros Islands

13. Fell asleep in staff meetings

14. Chose Italy as ally

15. Got involved with a Sicilian when death was on the line

16. Made pass at Eleanor Roosevelt during 1936 Olympics

17. Built heliport on top of new Reichstag building which looked remarkably like a bullseye from the air

18. Always got Churchill out of bed for conference calls

19. Told Einstein he had a stupid name

20. Used SS instead of LAPD

21. Admired Napoleon's strategy

22. In last days, chose to hide in bunker rather than ask U.S. for a little country place in Hawaii

23. Nightmare involving Pillsbury Doughboy haunted him constantly with war advice

24. Passed up Finish "tanks for snowshoes" offer before invasion of USSR.

25. Spent jail time planning how to conquer the world instead of his own escape.

26. Forgot to write "Dear Joey" letter to Stalin before invasion of Poland

27. Blew nose on Operation Barbarossa maps, forcing extemporaneous invasion of Soviet Union.

28. Took no steps to keep Neville Chamberlain in power

29. Forgot correct interpretation of Nietzche; caused much embarrassment when he used to cite philosophical support for his concept of the "Oberdude"

30. Listened to too much Wagner and not enough Peter, Paul and Mary

31. Failed to encourage tourism

32. Being born

33. Kept Colonel Klink in command

34. Churchill mistakenly thought "Deutschland Uber Alles" was a veiled threat

35. Used same astrologer as the Reagans.

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