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She tried so very hard, so very many times, to walk away from him; to escape the hold that he seemed to have over her. She recognized that he chose to live such a separate life and had little room for her, but for a few stolen moments in time. She knew there would come a day when even the moments in time were no longer possible, yet she didn't have the strength to follow through. She couldn't move away on her own.
It was like being sucked down into a whirlpool endlessly, hopelessly spinning downward. But each time, when spending time with him became a possibility, she was released from the downward spiral and lifted up onto the waves, with the clear blue sky and sunshine looming above her. She took flight, soaring above the sea, above the world, in a place where she felt such joy such freedom. It was these times she could not give up.
For those moments were unlike any other and she knew they would continue to be unlike any others that would come to her in her remaining lifetime. Sometimes she almost hated the hold he had on her. Sometimes she prayed for logic, reality and reason to take control and protect her from his reach. But these efforts were hopeless. She knew she had no chance of escaping; knew that for her, this man embodied all that was beautiful, all that was precious, all that was life.
His strength, his compassion, his beautiful soul; a single hour in his presence was equal to years of peace and serenity filled with such an enduring feeling of security and safety. He rescued her from her responsibilities. Rescued her from her life, from the draining
demands by all those around her. He made her whole. He made her complete.
Though she would never fully understand why the walls he put up would not come down, why it could not be more, she was left to accept what there was, yet ultimately to appreciate that God and fate had brought to her this special gift.
The conventional is not always the course. Don't miss out on the wonderful moments that can be captured in life by expecting more. Learn to accept that which touches you, which leads you to appreciate every aspect of life; that which brings you to appreciate all of the other special things in life; that which makes you smell the air after a spring rain, rejoice in the sounds of the birds, be moved deeply by a sunrise, a sunset, to feel all of the beauty that surrounds you.
Embrace anyone and anything that can make this happen for you. Enjoy it while you can and afterwards let your sweet memories return you to this state, over and over again.
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发表于 2007-9-21 18:44
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