People will do anything to see a free show -- even if it is a bad one. When the news got round that a comedy show would be presented at our local cinema by the P. and U. Bird Seed Company, we all rushed to see it. We had to queue for hours to get in and there must have been several hundred people present just before the show began. Unfortunately, the show was one of the dullest we have ever seen. (1)___________________. The only funny things we heard that evening came from the advertiser at the beginning of the programme. (2)___________________. As soon as he opened his mouth, everyone burst out laughing. We all know what the poor man should have said, but what he actually said was: 'This is the Poo and Ee Seed Bird Company. Good ladies, evening and gentlemen!"