内向者与外向者：难道我们就不能与彼此好好相处吗？（内向篇） 向者

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Introverts And Extraverts: Can’t We Just Get Along?

Being an introvert is a bad thing, right? Well, a lot of people seem to think so, judging by the number of articles I’ve read about how to “cure” introversion. On the other hand, extraverts (and yes, that IS the correct spelling as used in the MBTI) get their energy from the external world of people and things, and they go crazy if they spend too much time alone.

Whether you prefer the internal world or the external world, that preference is fixed. You can force yourself to act outside of your element, but an introvert can’t become an extravert and vice versa.

For Introverts:
1. Indicate to others when you’re busy.
When an extravert sees you reading, writing, or maybe just thinking, they might assume that the only reason you’d do this is because you don’t have someone to talk to. So they think they’re doing you a favor by striking up a conversation（挑起一段谈话）, when they’re actually interrupting.To prevent this, be sure to give an indication that you’re in the middle of something and aren’t looking for socialization right now.

2. Try to verbalize (v.用言语表述) your thoughts more.
Introverts tend to keep most of their thinking to themselves while they’re working out ideas, and not speak much until they’re sure of what they want to say. The problem with this is that other people can’t see you thinking. If someone comes to you for your opinion on something, and they don’t hear you talking, they might assume you don’t care.To show that you are in fact considering what they said, try doing some of your thinking out loud. It’s OK if you verbalize rough drafts of thoughts that you end up changing.

3. Realize that extraverts often need to talk.
Because extraverts are more in touch with the external world, for them talking is sometimes as necessary as breathing. They might think out loud by bouncing their thoughts off other people, and they might need to chat in order to boost their energy.
For an introvert, this can be the most difficult part of dealing with an extravert. The same conversation that energizes the extravert also drains the introvert. But keeping in mind that the extravert is not being intentionally malicious, the introvert has at least two options for handling this in a polite way. They can patiently participate in the conversation, and then when it’s over they can be alone to recharge. Or they can cut off the conversation early by mentioning something else they need to be doing.

4. Don’t forget to socialize.
As great as your internal world is, don’t forget that the external world is also good in moderation. Be sure to set aside some time to spend with other people, and take advantage of social opportunities that present themselves to you. And when you’re around other people, make yourself fun to be with!


内向不是一件好事情，是吗？似乎大多数人都这样认为，但是显然我们的想法都受到了许多关于如何治愈内向的文章的影响。另一方面，外向的人从与外部世界的相处中获得活力，如果他们独处太久也会抓狂。
无论你更倾向于外部世界还是内心世界，其实一切早就注定了。你可以强迫自己处在你不习惯的状态，但是内向的人无论如何也成为不了外向的人，反之亦然。

给内向性格者：
1．如果你忙一定要让别人知道。
一个外向的人看到你在阅读，写作或者思考的时候，他们会认为你是因为没有人交谈才这样做的，因此他们常常会主动上前和你聊天，认为这是在帮你，实际却打扰到你。为了避免类似事件，一定要向别人有所暗示，表明你现在有事不想谈话。
2．尽量说明自己的想法。
内向的人在确定自己的想法之前都不会轻易向他人透露，只会在自己的世界里冥思苦想。然而别人并不知道你在思考。如果有人来问你对于某事的观点，你却没有给任何答复，他们会认为你根本不在乎这件事。了表明事实上你在考虑他们的问题，试着说出自己的想法。就算你还没得出最终结论，你也可以说一个大概的想法。
3．要知道外向的人经常需要交谈。
外向的人需要时刻融入外部世界，对于他们来说交谈有时可能和呼吸一样重要，他们思考问题的方式是告诉别人自己的想法，通过与他人的交流获得能量。
对于内向的人，这可能是与外向人相处中最难的部分。外向的人与人谈话后精神百倍，相反谈话却让内向的人筋疲力尽。但是外向的人并非故意这样做。对于这种情况，内向的人有两种礼貌的解决方式。一是参与到谈话中，谈话结束后自己独处缓解疲惫。一是在谈话中途提出自己有别的事情要做。
4．记得要主动参与社交活动。
无论你的内心世界有多强大，适当参与外部世界的活动也对你有好处。一定要花些时间与别人接触，利用社交机会将自己呈现给别人。与别人相处的时候，尽量让自己幽默风趣一些。