临终前最遗憾的五件事 死而有憾是什么体验？

kobe

有位叫做Bronnie Ware的澳大利亚护士姐姐采访了数名垂死的病人，问他们临终前最遗憾的事情是什么，并列出了频次最高的五个答案。这些回答中并没有出现对激情、性之类的遗憾，而且在Bronnie的访问过程中，她频频落泪。下面将展示她的调查结果，希望大家可以有所感悟。

NO.1 I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

我想要活成我自己。

最常出现的憾事就是人们认为自己没有活成自己想要的样子，而是活成了别人期待的样子。Bronnie对此的见解是，人们在将死之时很容易回顾过往，细数自己尚未完成的梦想。而“身体是革命的本钱”这个道理，直到他们将死才会明白，却为时晚矣。

NO.2 I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

我不应该在工作上花那么多时间

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

“我要是没那么努力干活就好了。”这是Bronnie采访的每一位男病人都提到的。这些男人由于工作而失去了陪伴孩子家人的机会。也有女病患发出这样的感慨，但是由于她们大都是上一辈的老人，主要还是由男人在外工作。因此男病患们也会对因工作而失去的东西表示后悔。

NO.3 I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

我想有勇气表达自己。

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

这一点与第一点相似，也就是希望自己能够有勇气说出内心的想法。人们认为他们没有勇气表达自己的真实想法，因此只好按照别人的期望来为人处世，将心中的苦闷积郁成疾。

NO.4 I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

我应该跟朋友保持联系

" Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

所有人都希望在临终之时能见到最好的朋友。而很多人在平时的生活中由于各种各样的疏忽导致友谊的消逝。这也是让患者们追悔莫及的事情了。

NO.5 I wish that I had let myself be happier.

我想活得更开心

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to theirselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

最后一点也是极为常见的回答。许多人没有意识到，快乐都是自己选择的。如果总是因循守旧，人云亦云，活不出自己的样子，那就永远没有办法找到真正的快乐。

看完了别人的憾事，不知道你有什么感想？到目前这小半辈子，有没有追悔莫及的事情？后悔不可怕，不知如何改进才真的让人沮丧。借鉴前人的经验，努力提升自己，希望我们都能不虚此行，不枉此生。