BEWILDERED BEWILDERED

蓝蓝

I was bewildered at the bitterness and anger, which spewed from humanity.
I longed for acceptance, love and peace.

I filled my world with books, journals, and teddy bears.
I was unable to bear the pain, which rained upon me constantly.

I longed to know the people who abandoned me long ago.
I longed for a family who would reach out and hold me when I was in pain.

People walked in and out of my life. They did not stop long enough to know me.
This had been the pattern of my world for a long time.

I thought the pain would end when he died, the man who was so bitter and hurt.
He was a man who did not know how to express love, or ask for love.

Years of fear, bitterness and anger filled my life, until I too, became angry.
Angry enough to lash out and hurt the man I tried to love.

He is gone now, dead for over one year, and my nightmares are gone.
I've forgiven him, and myself.

Yet the bitterness, callousness and anger in the world continue to carry on,
And I am weary.
I will curl up, once again with my grandmother's quilt, and hope to feel better when I wake.

I too, could become a person who is distant, not sharing my feelings or needs.
My Father knows my needs, and He will care for me, however;
He wants me to care for others.

He knows my heart, and He walks with me, holding my hand.
He comforts me, as no human ever has; enabling me to comfort others.

He is my world. He gives me joy and a sense of hope. He gently dries my tears.
He is God Almighty, creator of me and the universe.

He is my Father. He is my hope.