[双语]如何成熟的拒绝求婚

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Melissa N., then 23, had been waiting for the right time to break up with her boyfriend of fouryears when he casually proposed to her back in 2006. It seemed every time she tried to endthings with him, her boyfriend would receive some type of bad news ― a health problem wouldarise or there'd be a family emergency ― that would force her to put it off a bit longer.

2003年梅丽莎•尼的男朋友偶然向她求婚，她当年23岁，后来的四年她一直都在等待合适的时机和男朋友分手。但好像每一次她试图和男友做出了断的时候，他都会有一些坏消息--健康问题或者家庭危机--这些坏消息迫使她将分手推后。

"Then on our way to Walmart one day, in my mother's car because we couldn't afford our own, he leaned toward the window and looked at me with one hand on the wheel," Melissa, whoselast name has been withheld to protect her privacy, told HuffPost. "He said, 'What do youthink, this time next year we'll get married?'"

"后来有一天，我们开着我妈的车去沃尔玛（因为我们自己买不起车），他靠着窗户望着我，一只手握着方向盘，"梅丽莎对HuffPost说道，她的姓被隐去了，以保护她的隐私。"他说道，'你觉得我们明年这个时候结婚怎么样？'"

Melissa was completely shocked ― "but not in a good way." "I sat quietly for what felt likeforever thinking of how embarrassing the situation was and how angry I was that he hadasked," she said.

梅丽莎完全惊呆了--"但不是那种喜极而惊。""我在那儿安静的坐着，当时特别尴尬，他提出的这个问题也让我十分恼火，"她说道。



Melissa asked him if he was serious. He confirmed that he was. "He said that we'd beentogether long enough and it was probably about time," she told HuffPost. "I can't rememberexactly what I said but it was along the lines of, 'We'll see.' I was panicking on the insidethinking about how I could actually dump him."

梅丽莎问他是不是认真的。他说他很认真。"他说我们在一起很久了，是时候结婚了，"她对HuffPost说道。"我记不得我到底回复了什么，但差不多是'等着瞧吧。'我的内心一片惊慌，思索着如何才能真正地甩了他。"

Melissa ended the relationship a month later. "I knew I couldn't spend my life with him," shesaid. It's not easy to respond to anmarriage proposal on the spot, particularly one you didn'tsee coming, as was the case with Melissa. But in an ideal world, the best time to have theconversation with your partner about your feelings on marriage is before the proposal evergoes down.

一个月后，梅丽莎结束了这段感情。"我知道我不想余生和他一起度过，"她说道。当场回应求婚并不是易事，尤其是你预想不到他/她会求婚时更是如此，就像梅丽莎那样。但在理想世界中，求婚前是你与另一半谈论有关婚姻想法的最佳时机。

"Proposals can definitely catch a girl or guy off guard but more often than not, the idea ofmarriage is something you have already discussed," etiquette expert Amber Harrison toldHuffPost.

"求婚肯定会让女生或男生措手不及，但多半情况下，婚姻是你们早已谈论过的话题，"礼仪专家安珀•哈里森对HuffPost说道。