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致命的大错:  
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."  
"Qualifications: No education or experience."  
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."  
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."  
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."  
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."  
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6"5" .  
" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."  
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."  
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word "paranoia." I prefer to elaborate privately."  
打字错误与语法错误  
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."  
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."  
"I am a rabid typist."  
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."  
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."  
"Accounting cleric."  
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."  
"Suspected to graduate early next year."  
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."  
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."  
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."  
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."  
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."  
不应有的幽默 
 
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."  
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)  
"But wait...there"s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."  
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."  
"My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job"-and I like your company in particular."  
"Title: Another resume from the "Profiles in Excellence" series."  
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."  
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."  
"Let"s meet so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience." |   
 
 
                    
                     
 
 
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