Think about the last time you felt a negative emotion---like stress, anger, or frustration. What was going through your mind as you were going through that negativity? Was your mind cluttered with thoughts? Or was it paralyzed, unable to think?
The next time you find yourself in the middle of a very stressful time, or you feel angry or frustrated, stop. Yes, that’s right, stop. Whatever you’re doing, stop and sit for one minute. While you’re sitting there, completely immerse yourself in the negative emotion.
Allow that emotion to consume you. Allow yourself one minute to truly feel that emotion. Don’t cheat yourself here. Take the entire minute---but only one minute---to do nothing else but feel that emotion.
When the minute is over, ask yourself, “Am I wiling to keep holding on to this negative emotion as I go through the rest of the day?”
Once you’ve allowed yourself to be totally immersed in the emotion and really fell it, you will be surprised to find that the emotion clears rather quickly.
If you feel you need to hold on to the emotion for a little longer, that is OK. Allow yourself another minute to feel the emotion.
When you feel you’ve had enough of the emotion, ask yourself if you’re willing to carry that negativity with you for the rest of the day. If not, take a deep breath. As you exhale, release all that negativity with your breath.
This exercise seems simple---almost too simple. But, it is very effective. By allowing that negative emotion the space to be truly felt, you are dealing with the emotion rather than stuffing it down and trying not to feel it. You are actually taking away the power of the emotion by giving it the space and attention it needs. When you immerse yourself in the emotion, and realize that it is only emotion, it loses its control. You can clear your head and proceed with your task.
Try it. Next time you’re in the middle of a negative emotion, give yourself the space to feel the emotion and see what happens. Keep a piece of paper with you that says the following:
Stop. Immerse for one minute. Do I want to keep this negativity? Breath deep, exhale, release. Move on!
This will remind you of the steps to the process. Remember; take the time you need to really immerse yourself in the emotion. Then, when you feel you’ve felt it enough, release it---really let go of it. You will be surprised at how quickly you can move on from a negative situation and get to what you really want to do!
想下你最近一次感受到的消极情绪,例如压力,愤怒或挫折。当你处于那种消极情绪时你在想些什么?是充满了混乱的思绪?还是陷于麻木,无法思考?
下次当你发现自己处于非常紧张的状态时,或是你感到气愤或受挫时,停下来。是的,对,停下来。不管你在做什么,停下来坐上一分钟。坐着的时候,让自己完全沉浸在那种消极情绪之中。
让那种消极情绪吞噬你,给自己一分钟的时间去真切地体会那种情绪,不要欺骗自己。花整整一分钟的时间 – 但只有一分钟 – 去体会那种情绪,别的什么也不要做。
当一分钟结束时,问自己:“我是否想在今天余下的时间里继续保持这种消极情绪?”
一旦你允许自己完全沉浸在那种情绪当中并真切体会到它,你就会惊奇地发现那种情绪很快就消失了。
如果你觉得还需要点时间来保持那种情绪,没关系,再给自己一分钟的时间去体会它。
如果你觉得自己已经充分体会了那种情绪,那就问自己是否愿意在今天余下的时间里继续保持这种消极情绪。如果不愿意,那就深呼吸。呼气的时候,把所有的消极情绪都释放出去。
这个方法似乎很简单 – 几乎是太过简单了,但却非常有效。通过给自己空间真正体会消极情绪,你是在处理这种情绪,而不是将其压制下去然后尽量不加理会。通过给予消极情绪所需的空间和关注,你实际上是在消解其力量。当你沉浸在那种情绪之中,并且明白它只是一种情绪时,你就摆脱了它的控制。你可以清理头脑并继续做事。
你下次笼罩消极情绪时,试一下这种做法,给自己一点空间来体会那种情绪并看看会发生什么。随身带一张写着如下字句的纸条:
停下来。沉浸一分钟。我想保持这种消极情绪吗?深吸气,呼气,放松。继续做事!
这会提醒你该怎样去做。记住,要花你所需要的时间去真正沉浸于那种情绪之中。然后,当你感到自己已经充分体会到了它。你会惊奇地发现,你很快就能摆脱消极情绪,并开始做你真正想做的事情!
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