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标题: 一篇作文,欢迎各位同学批评指正 [打印本页]

作者: xingxing892    时间: 2012-2-16 22:23     标题: 一篇作文,欢迎各位同学批评指正

今天写的作文,我是个六级还没过的孩子,英语一直是我头疼的问题,希望各位英语高手帮我看看我的作文,帮我指导指导,看看哪里有错误,哪里可以表达更好之类的,我决定要经常练习,这个论坛我很喜欢,能学到很多东西,先谢谢大家的批评指导~
Living at a fast city or a slow city?
As sure as rabbits like carrots and tigers like meat,different kinds of people have different ideas about which kind of city should be choose to live at. Some prefer deal with things at the first time when they get their tasks. Others prefer going easy in their whole lives. The former choose to live at fast places,and the latter choose to live at slow places.
As a college student who will graduate soon, I want to live at a fast city. First of all,a fast city is always a city which develop fast of economic. There must be a lot of chances for me to begin my career. Second, I can learn much more experience by using these opportunities than a slow city in the fast city. Last but not least, I'm young and I have a lot of dream. If I want to reach my goals,I must pay more and learn more. So I need to live at the fast city. Even I can't enjoy the life,I firmly believe it worth. I need to get what I want ,then I'll enjoy my success life.
作者: M_CARL    时间: 2012-3-18 10:08

different kinds of people have different ideas about which kind of city should be choose to live at. 这句话用vary或者range好一点。
整体还可以,就是句式和词汇过于简单普通,文章亮点不突出。
作者: kobe    时间: 2012-3-22 23:55

写的不错嘛!
作者: 随风踏海浪    时间: 2012-4-16 13:00

努力~~各位。。。
作者: 簿子酒    时间: 2012-4-26 16:49

in short,there is something little wrong in your composition,especially in grammer and tense,but i think it wil be a good work after revising by youself~and have a good time in Tingroom~
作者: houykdd    时间: 2012-6-6 17:46

写的不错的,加油




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