Etiquette doesn't just mean RSVPs and dinner party manners, it's a reflection of your entire outlook on social interaction and public life. Not holding the door open for a little old lady says something about you to everyone who sees it -- namely, that you can't spare five seconds to be a half-decent guy。
In most situations, your image and appearance isn't just part of what defines you; it's the only thing that defines you. People who don't know anything about you are going to fill in the blanks with the only information they have, which is how they see you behave. Regardless of how you think of yourself, one awful social habit can easily become the thing that comes to identify you: Anyone who sees you chewing your food like a cow and acting belligerent toward your waitress is going to remember that stuff far before your job title or sophisticated wit。
Whether in a professional or social setting, it's always awkward if you fail to introduce two people when you're their only shared acquaintance. This is really just common courtesy, but if you're called away from the conversation, it also leaves these folks making strained small talk while not even aware of each other's names. There are technically some agreed-upon rules to making professional introductions (such as saying the name of the professionally superior person first), but none of that is as important as remembering to make the introductions in the first place。
No.9 Not removing yourself to take a cell phone call
第九条:接电话时不回避
In almost every social situation, the people who actually physically share the room with you are owed your attention more than someone who's just calling or texting. This is especially noticeable and aggravating when at a dinner table or similarly personal setting, but it applies to almost any situation when you're not alone. Even if you're just waiting in line with total strangers, try to keep your phone conversation to yourself as much as possible。
Here's a simple rule for group dining situations: Prepare to pay an even share, but don't take advantage of that possibility by overindulging. Go into dining situations expecting that some loud guy you don't really like is going to order three $20 martinis after his steak and expect to split that with you and your sandwich. If this is consistent behavior and it's making you furious, deal with it in a different setting instead of launching into an accusatory check argument right there in the restaurant. Besides, you're paying a small price to demonstrate that you're gracious and magnanimous。
People like to feel valued, and if you're looking for a surefire way to indicate that you don't value them at all, go ahead and just fail to show up. You can come in 20 minutes later with a pretty good explanation, but when it comes down to it, the other person is left wondering why he evidently cares more about this relationship than you do. Especially in a professional setting dealing with clients and bosses, being late is a starkly noticeable way to divide the room into capable, considerate people and people who merely have long-winded excuses about cars not starting。
In the same way that many rules of etiquette are designed to keep you from being self-centered, the "give up your seat to someone who needs it more" rule is basic human decency and not a discussion about gender politics. Maybe the pregnant woman or frail old lady doesn't technically require your hard-won public transit seat, and maybe you had a terrible day, your feet hurt and the bus is packed with miserable people, but suck it up and give up the damn seat already。
Service staff often make less than the minimum legal requirement because it's assumed that you're going to be a reasonable human being and tip 15% to 20%. It's completely OK to tip less than that figure to indicate that you were unhappy with your service, if it's genuinely justified. It's not OK to avoid leaving a tip because you're cheap or were unprepared for the expense. For that matter, don’t send food back for the tiniest mistakes or abuse the staff like they're your servants. Yes, they're required to take this from you, but that's unrelated to the fact that it makes you look like an intolerable ass。
Narcissism is not an attractive quality. Yes, there are some guys who can pull off being arrogant and self-absorbed, but this does not give you license to imitate them. Accidentally dominating conversations without intending to come off as self-involved is really no better because the end result is the same. Resist the urge to respond to every sentence with some version of: "Yeah, and here's how that applies to me!" Just shut up for 60 seconds and hear the words people are saying. Then, to top it all off, ask a perceptive question. This is what makes people feel like you care about anyone other than yourself。
Gym etiquette is pretty simple, but that doesn't prevent every gym from suffering its share of inconsiderate gym slobs. These are the guys who monopolize equipment even if they don't appear to be doing much of anything with it, who drop free weights or duffel bags in heavily-trafficked areas where they're likely to kill somebody, and who can't understand (or don't care) that leaving sweat on a bench or machine is gross and inexcusable. One overarching rule will prevent most gym slovenliness: Don't act like you're the most important person in the world. Act like you share this place with a bunch of people who are paying money to use it -- because, well, you do。
Public groominginfringes on our shared social contact; whether you think anyone's looking at you or not, it's simply not OK. Virtually anything that you'd normally go into a restroom to do should be confined to one, including cleaning your ears, clipping your fingernails and anything else related to personal hygiene. An old-school take on this would essentially be to keep your hands away from your face entirely when you're in public, but how about this: Don't do anything you wouldn't proudly and unconcernedly do in front of an attractive woman。
Eating like an animal is simply one of the worst social mistakes you can make. It graduates from merely a bad habit that reflects poorly on you to something that actively disgusts other nearby people trying to enjoy their food. Women in particular find this awful, and it's one of the most common stereotypes of a hopeless, classless guy. This applies to more than just eating for that matter: The term "mouth-breather" is not exactly synonymous with refinement and social graces, so take your cues from that and ditch this habit as soon as humanly possible。