A friend asks me “Why Chinese don't go Dutch?” So I want to regard thisquestion as the topic and write an article. As everyone knows,Occidental will go Dutch while having a meal in the restaurant. ButChinese don't go Dutch. Chinese will pay the bill and check outgenerously. Occidental don't often entertain guests; but Chinese ofteninvite friend to dinner. A lot of Occidentals feel puzzled to thisquestion。
Why exists such a difference? Because of the East and West cultureand custom are different on the surface. I will analyze this questionconcretely。
为什么存在这样的差别呢?表面上的原因是由于东西方文化的差异。我将具体分析其中道理。
First of all, food systems between China and Occident are different.Chinese put into practice Gather Dining System; Occidentals put intopractice Individual Dining System. Everybody can share the deliciousfood of all over the table when eating Chinese food. Please note it issharing; but Occidentals just eat the food in one's own plate, if youeat beef, he eats chicken. It is impossible that you taste the flavorof his chicken. The result of the Individual Dining System is that youcan only eat the food in your plate. It is unable to share. Ha-ha! WhatI said is right!
So to eat Chinese food is happier than to eat Western-style food. AndI want to ask you a question. Do you like the free thing? I thinknobody don't like the free thing. Ok! Suppose I invite you to eat thedelicious Chinese food, then I pay the bill. This is equivalent to thatyou have enjoyed a delicious Chinese food free. So you will be veryglad. Have strengthened the relation between us in the happy atmosphere。
Secondly, Occidentals eat for the health; Chinese eat for thefriendship. Occidental advocate individualism and independence isstrong. So Occidental express that respect for each other'sindependence through the way go Dutch. Chinese like making friends andsolidarity. Chinese value the interpersonal relationships andfriendship very much. There are a lot of folk adages in China, forexample “Depend on parents at home, leave home and depend on thefriend!”,“Handle affairs is easy if you have many friends!”, anothersentence is the more violent: “Insert the knife into both sides of therib for friend!!!”。
Therefore, friend's position is important in Chinese's mind. Thepurpose that Chinese don't go Dutch is doesn't want to destroy thefriendship between the friends. Dutch treatment is the stingy behaviorin China, is unfavorable to the friends' solidarity and is unfavorableto keeping the harmonious interpersonal relationship。
因此,在中国人的头脑中把朋友放在很重要的位置。中国人不采用各自付账的方式不会损害朋友间的友谊。相反,各付己账被认为是小气的行为,这不利于朋友的团结,也不利于保持和谐的人际关系。
Third, it is only simple “Have a meal!” that Occidental entertainguests. It is not purpose that Chinese entertain guests, but it is themeans. In Americans' idea, “Have a meal” definition is to add fuel tothe body for keeping health and normal life activity. Thus resist theattack of disease. That is to say, there is no any additional value。
In the Chinese idea, “Have a meal” not only is for maintaining thehealth of the body, but also is a kind of life enjoyment, even is themeans to promote friendship between the friends. After enjoying thesumptuous delicious food, you are glad, I am glad too, everybody isglad. The friendship between the friends has been strengthened in thiskind of atmosphere。
Chinese are a nation liking treat very much. Generally speaking, oneparty who propose treat will pay the bill in China. But purposes aredifferent. For example you help me to do a thing, I will invite you todinner in order to express thankfulness to you, certainly, I will paythe bill. Suppose I am a company manager, you are another companymanager. I talk about the business with you, and I will say: “Let'shave a meal together!”. Certainly, I will pay the bill. My purpose isthat congratulates business' success, promote the friendship betweenus, even the friendship and cooperation between two companies。
In fact, Chinese are very complicated. So I say that Chinese don't goDutch is not merely a kind of folkway and custom, but it is a means, amethod, a repayment way, a way to express emotion, even is probably akind of stratagem …