Wife talking to her husband，who reads newspaper all day:

I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

妻子和丈夫谈话，他一天到晚总是看报纸，妻子抱怨说：我要是报纸就好了，那样我就可以天天在你手里了。

丈夫说我也希望那样，那样我就可以每天换一个了。

I wish I were ....是虚拟语气的说法，表示希望发生但不会发生的。