A difficult or abusive boss can poison the best of jobs. But you are not powerless; before you even consider quitting, try the boss-taming strategies below.
CHANGE YOUR OWN WAY Few people are randomly violent. They blow up on particular occasions over particular issues. Track your boss's peeves and patterns, then eliminate the triggers within your control. For example, if he snarls when you arrive just five minutes late to work or make one typo on a memo, avoid these slipups no matter how trivial they seem. If one of your coworkers manages your boss's moods skillfully, ask him what you could be doing more effectively, then borrow a few of his moves.
STAY COOL UNDER FIRE Respond to the content of your boss's tirade, not the curses. Whatever you do, don't cower, stammer or apologize. Some people get off on brutalizing others, and passivity makes you a target. Respond confidently: Say "I'd like to put together a report that will satisfy you. Let's discuss how I can make that happen.
USE CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION Your boss may be more willing to change his behavior than you think. Some managers don't realize how much their words or actions upset staffers. Tell him how his outbursts make you feel. Say for example, When you call me names and criticize my work in meetings I feel demoralized Please address me respectfully and take me aside to discuss criticisms in private. If he values your work, he may rein in his abusiveness.
APPEAL TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY If your boss becomes intolerably abusive, you may have to go above his head to your personnel department or senior manager. But before you take this course, discreetly, ask coworkers if they've clashed with your boss in the past. Ideally, they will back you up and permit you to mention their names when you make your charges. That way, you can bring a pattern of behavior to management's attention. Begin by asking, “Can I have a discussion with you off the record?" Then cite examples that show how your boss's treatment negatively affects your performance. Make it clear that you want to improve the situation, not punish your boss. If discipline is what he needs, let the higher-ups make that call.
