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Very good

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?

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ghjghj

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我是一个英语新手,新的没有在新的。。。。。。

管理员,我是一个新手,里面的文章很多没有翻译的。有很多,我会读,但是我就是不明白它是什么意思!

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最好有归类的

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I Could Do It Slower

Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

Dentist: Fifty dollars.

Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?

Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

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英语笑话

Rope or Ox?

The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."

"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!"



"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope."

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笑话

Not too Bad

"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"

"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."

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笑话

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.



Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.



“It's good to see,”said the king,“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.”



“Your Majesty,”came the reply in a squealing voice,“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”

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笑话

A teacher said to her class:



“Who was the first man?”



“George Washington,”a little boy shouted promptly.



“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher,smiling indulgently.



“Because,”said the little boy,“he was first in war,first in peace,and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”



But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.



“Well,” said the teacher to him,“who do you think was the first man?”



“I don't know what his name was,”said the larger boy,“but I know it wasn't George Washington,ma’am,because the history book says George Washington married a widow,so,of course,there must have been a man ahead of him.”

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笑话

John D.Rocke feller, the wellkn own millionaire,gave away millions, but he himself was very mean about small sums of money. One day he went to stay at a hotel in New York and asked for the cheapest room in it. He said,“I am staying here alone and only need a small room.”



The manager showed him into a room and said,“This is our smallest and cheapest room,” and added,“but why do you choose a poor room like this? When your son stays here, he always has our most expensive room ;yours is our cheapest.”



“Oh! yes,”said Rockefeller,“but his father is a rich man;mine isn't.”

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笑话

A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up . He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.


  After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."



  "All right," said the teacher. "YOU translate and explain.



Notes:



  (1) be involved in 卷入;投入 (2) out of respect出于尊敬

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Reason of Punishment



One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."   



The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"



The little girl replied, "My homework."

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A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No,ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified,the manager came runningover to the customer and said,“Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside:“Never, never, never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?”



“Rain.” said the clerk.

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The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field.The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied:



“Sixteen men and a sergeant,sir.”



“Right;but how do you know there's a sergeant there?”



“He's not doing any digging, sir.”

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Frog



The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you

this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a

chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said,

"That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."

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对了,我这里有新概念的MP3,好像不用了吧?如果要的话吱一声,在版主群里说也可以,我会上去的.

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怎样提高积分?可以再线听看吗?

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多和大家交流多发帖,积分就会增加。

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强烈支持

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