听力首页 听力教程 VOA慢速 英语歌曲 外语下载 英语小说 英语词典 在线背单词 听力论坛 韩语学习
听力专题 英语教材 VOA标准 英语动画 英语考试 资源技巧 英语翻译 单词连连看 听力家园 德语学习
听力搜索 英语导读 BBC英语 英语视频 英语电台 英语QQ群 外语歌曲   英语游戏 英语网刊 日语学习
当前位置: 英语听力论坛 » 考研英语 » 高手请帮忙
返回列表 发帖

高手请帮忙

这里的前辈,请帮忙.下面是我准备的研究生复试的自我介绍资料.请帮忙看看怎么修改更好.另外,我觉得我短了点,看看可以怎么加.(我是在职考研,英语也是自学的,)如果能在里面加上我一边上班,一边努力自学的句子更好.
Good morning, my respected professors, my name is LIUBIN. It is really a great honor to be here for your interview. Now I will introduce myself briefly. I am 28 years old, born in chengdu, a beautiful city, where once you come and never want to leave.
In the past several years, I’ve worked at primary school as a teacher. I guess you may be interested in why I am leaving the present position. The reason is that I wish to get into the business management and want to pursue master’s degree here and then take the business as my future job. If I am given a chance to study in this famous university, I will spare no effort to master a good command of business management skill.
As to my character, I can not describe it well, but I know I am optimistic and confident. sometimes I prefer to stay alone, reading and thinking, but I am not lonely, for I like to chat with my friends about almost everything.
Well, in my spare time, I like handwritting, tennis and music, also english is my favorate. I read english books and listen to the english radio as often as everyday, but I know my english is not good enough, especially my oral english, I will continue studying.
Ok, that is all, thank you for your attention.

回复 3# 的帖子

恩,只是供参考,我们互相学习。祝你面试顺利。

TOP

谢谢收到.你的建议很中肯.

TOP

帮不上什么忙,稍微提一点个人的小小建议:
great honor 后面可以加上 for me
interview 前面的 your 改成 this 或者the,因为这个interview是你的,不是教授们的
I will introduce 改成 I'd like to introduce...比较委婉一些
born 前面的 was 不能省略,因为与前面的 am 时态不同,或者干脆另起一句:I was born....
觉得对于成都的描述有点夸张啦,不用把你出生地说得这么好吧,呵呵,或者这里可以顺带提一下你的家庭比较合适
In the past several years, ... 改成 During the past ** years, I was working at a primary school.... (因为工作时间短,写上具体几年比较好,时态用过去进行时我认为比过去完成时合适)
I wish to get into the business management 这里我觉得get into 与 business management 搭配不太恰当
future job 改成 future career 比较合适
艺术方面的书法用calligraphy, 而handwriting 更偏向于表示笔迹,字迹,书写风格等
这些爱好前面加上相应的动词来表达比较好
English radio 改成 English programs on the radio
as often as 与 everyday 搭配好像不合适,直接用everyday
thank you for your attention 是不是经常用在对某件事情阐述完毕后?我不太确定,我觉得这里用Thank you for your time.就可以了。

说的不对或不好的地方请包涵。。。
1

评分人数

  • DZ

TOP

返回列表