高手请帮忙 帮忙, 高手

xueyuan22

这里的前辈,请帮忙.下面是我准备的研究生复试的自我介绍资料.请帮忙看看怎么修改更好.另外,我觉得我短了点,看看可以怎么加.(我是在职考研,英语也是自学的,)如果能在里面加上我一边上班,一边努力自学的句子更好.
Good morning, my respected professors, my name is LIUBIN. It is really a great honor to be here for your interview. Now I will introduce myself briefly. I am 28 years old, born in chengdu, a beautiful city, where once you come and never want to leave.
In the past several years, I’ve worked at primary school as a teacher. I guess you may be interested in why I am leaving the present position. The reason is that I wish to get into the business management and want to pursue master’s degree here and then take the business as my future job. If I am given a chance to study in this famous university, I will spare no effort to master a good command of business management skill.
As to my character, I can not describe it well, but I know I am optimistic and confident. sometimes I prefer to stay alone, reading and thinking, but I am not lonely, for I like to chat with my friends about almost everything.
Well, in my spare time, I like handwritting, tennis and music, also english is my favorate. I read english books and listen to the english radio as often as everyday, but I know my english is not good enough, especially my oral english, I will continue studying.
Ok, that is all, thank you for your attention.

xueyuan22

谢谢收到.你的建议很中肯.