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I Love You But I Hate You 爱恨交加
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Yes relationships.
It is the true test of how human we really are. How much we can accept in our fellow humans. And really how much we want to accept. If we accept too much does that make us strong. And if we don't accept enough does that make us weak. Or is it the other way around?
All these things are a true test of how much you are capable of loving.
We all are born into this world with one thought - I shall love and be loved.
I am not afraid of love I am afraid of what too much love for the wrong reasons can do. It can make you into a person that you don't know you have become until it is all-wrong.
Until the day you look in the mirror and the reflection is not yours.
We marry our true love and then as time goes by we tend to lose whom we once were. And if we can't find ourselves during this time of marriage then we become a shell that will eventually crack. And your marriage will soon become a divorce statistic.
Marriage is commitment to the love you have for someone but it should not be the end of your identity. Because if you let it then you will truly Love You But Hate You.
Kahlil Gibran best said it many years ago in The Prophet on Marriage：
We need to remember that I will love you but I will not become you. I will not allow us to become one. Love when people are like meet my other half - what? And especially when they throw in the humor meet my better half. It's there way of being all happy and cute. But is it setting yourselves up for a relationship that in time will fail? I guess it all depends on how independent of a person you were prior to becoming one. And will losing your independence really be an issue.
So don't be duped into the relationship tricks. Be yourself and enjoy your partner as himself or herself not as you want them to be. Because you did fall in love with them knowing who they are.
the other way around 相反地
prophet n. 预言者
prior to 优先的，居前的
dupe v.欺骗，愚弄
是的，是关系。
它在考验我们到底是一个怎样的人。对于我们的同类我们可以接受多少，我们又愿意接受多少呢？如果我们接受的太多，是否会令我们变得强大；但是如果我们接受得不够，这又会不会令我们变得弱小。或者是不是情况正好相反？
所有这些都是对于我们有多少能力去爱的真正考验。
我们都带着一个想法来到这个世界，即我应该去爱和被爱。
我并不害怕爱，我只是害怕抱着过多错误理由去爱会带来什么样的结果。它会令你变成另外一个人，然而你却不知道你已经变了，直到错误已经发生。
直到有一天你看着镜子里的你发现已不是自己。
我们和我们的挚爱结婚，随着时间的流逝，我们渐渐失去了原先的自己。若是我们无法在婚姻的这段时间里找回自我，那么我们会变成一个坚硬的贝壳，但这只贝壳最终会破裂。你们的婚姻不久也会走向破裂。
婚姻是对于你挚爱的人的承诺，但不是你自我身份的结束。因为如果你放任自己，你最终会对自己爱恨交加。
Kahlil Gibra曾在几年前的的《婚姻前瞻》中精到地指出：
我们需要记住我会爱你但我不愿意成为你。我不会允许我们成为一个人。当人们好似遇见了另半个自己的时候开始相爱。特别是遇见更好的另一半自我时他们会相爱。这是开心愉悦的时光。但是这只是为你自己建立起了一个关系，而且这个关系最终会结束。我猜想这首先取决于你是一个怎么独立的人，而不是变成一个这么独立的人。当你失去了独立性，问题就开始出现了。
所以你不要被关系的小把戏给骗了。做你自己，并且享受你的他或者她自我的一面，而不是让另一半成为你想要的样子。因为只有你知道他们是怎样一个人的时候才会爱上他们。
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发表于 2008-8-5 14:16
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