Don’t Let Loneliness Win! Let, Loneliness, Win, Don

tingroom

“I sometimes feel absolutely deadly lonely, particularly when facing the weekend. I am so totally alone, it’s painful to think about…….. I am convinced it was meant to be”

I think we can all relate in one way to that feeling, when you are going through the grief process. I know I have often felt, was I born to be lonely? I believe though that human beings are born to love, that the ability to feel, the ability to love is what separates us from other species or even machinery! Loneliness takes hold （v.控制，占主导） when WE let it in.

Now there are days when it is fine to feel lonely, that is part of being human. However, what we have to be careful of as widows or widowers, is allowing the loneliness to take hold, of accepting that as a basic human feeling. I don’t think that is true. I think the basic human feeling is wanting to be loved and accepted, when that is not present then loneliness is the down side.  So small steps may be needed to control that loneliness to allow love back into your heart.

Smile as you pass people in the street and see them smile back. Thank people. Talk to people when you are out and about. Just a quick sentence or a remark can start a conversation. Go to places where there are other people. I find the cinema a good place as people arrive together but when you are watching the film you are all individuals.

中文译文：
      “有时候我感到极度的孤独，尤其在周末的时候。我完全没有人陪伴。想起来就很难受……我相信这是肯定会有的事。”
      当经受痛苦的时候，我们都会产生孤独的感觉。我也经常怀疑，我是不是天生就孤独啊？但我还是相信人类是为爱而生的，这种有情感，懂得爱的能力正是我们人类有别于其他物种甚至是机器之处！是我们自己让孤独战胜了自己。
      有时，感觉孤独未必是坏事，它是我们作为人的情感的一部分。然而，我们要注意的是不让孤独控制了我们，就像寡妇或鳏夫，把孤独当作了人们基本的情感。我不赞成这样的想法。我认为人类基本的情感是需要被爱并去爱他人，而当这种情感消失的时候，孤独才会乘虚而入。所以，我们需要一些方法控制孤独的蔓延，重新找到爱的感觉。
      在街上对身边的路人微笑，他们也会回以一笑。学会感恩。当你在外面时，多与别人交谈，即使一句简短的话语也能开启一段谈话。多和别人相处。我发现电影院是个不错的地方，因为人们可以聚到一起，但当看电影时，大家又成为了独立的个体。